Should You Really Split That Dinner Bill? 5 Etiquette Tips (2024)

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We asked etiquette experts about the best—and classiest—ways to handle this and other common money questions.

By

Erica Lamberg

Should You Really Split That Dinner Bill? 5 Etiquette Tips (1)

Erica Lamberg

Erica is a personal finance writer and travel expert with a decade of experience. She contributes to USA TODAY, Forbes, CNBC, and many other top-tier media outlets. Erica writes about travel tips, destinations, reward credit cards, and ways to save money on travel. Highlights: * Regular contributor to USA TODAY, covering destinations, trends, and how to save money on travel * Travel insurance expert for Forbes, contributing 50+ articles on travelers' insurance * Freelance writer covering health, real estate, business, and parenting with work published in Oprah Magazine, Reader's Digest, U.S. News & World Report, Parents, and NBC News

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Updated on August 08, 2022

There's often an awkward pause when the check arrives at a restaurant. Should the bill be split down the middle? Or should you tally up the bill so each person covers their own meal expenses? There's also the option of requesting separate checks entirely. What's the check protocol these days? We asked the money etiquette experts about the best—and classiest—ways to handle this common conundrum.

First things first: "The decision to split the bill should happen before you sit down for dinner," says Toni Dupree, an etiquette coach with Etiquette & Style by Dupre in Houston. "Not when the wait staff brings the check."

01of 05

Consider Your Dining Companion's Situation

The best way to handle dining out with a friend or a group is to be mindful of your companions. Before you default to splitting a check down the middle, consider that not everyone is in the same financial situation. Also, diners may order varying items, indulge in alcohol, or even have more courses. Experts say it's perfectly acceptable to ask your companion(s) if they are amenable to dividing the check with these considerations in mind.

"If, and only if, everyone agreed to split the bill before the meals are ordered, then it is OK to evenly divide that check when the bill arrives," confirms Karene Putney, CEO of Etiquette Etiquette.

02of 05

Splitting Tip and Tax Is the Norm

Even if meal and beverage totals are tallied according to each person, different standards apply to tax and gratuity. "However you tallied the check, it is proper etiquette to split tax and tip evenly among the table," Putney says.

03of 05

Be Your Own Advocate

It's your prerogative to ask for separate checks based on your dining history with a certain friend, or if you expect to order modestly. Just tell your companion(s) your preference.

"Friends should be comfortable enough to have an upfront conversation and just put everything on the table in advance without worrying about it," says Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert with The Protocol School of Texas in San Antonio.

"Most people feel the same way and are waiting for the first person to speak up," she explains. Gottsman adds that good friends should be able to feel "emotionally safe" to broach uncomfortable topics such as their personal finances. "After the conversation, there will be an understanding, and everything will fall into place," she says.

04of 05

Pony Up to Pay for an Honoree

There's an implied understanding that if a group is taking someone out for a birthday or other celebratory occasion, the group will pay for the guest of honor.

"The friends would split the check evenly and pick up the birthday honoree," she says. This is one case where even if one person orders more than the others, you still split the check evenly down the middle–and tack on the honoree's portion equally, too.

See Also
Split Checks

05of 05

Pay for Own Meal for a Non-Special Occasion

Even if you don't bring the subject up at the start of the meal, it's acceptable to pay for only your share of the bill.

"At the end of the meal, you can just contribute what you have calculated that you owe," affirms Gottsman. "The key is to speak up so you don't feel taken advantage of."

Bottom Line

To avoid an awkward moment when the check arrives, Gottsman says it's best to state your preference early. Announce it pre-meal by saying something like, "Please put this on separate checks" to the server. Then everyone can relax and enjoy the conversation.

There are always people who just want to split the bill down the middle. For some, that works, and for others, it's an annoyance. If you suspect someone in your group is in the first category, sidestep conflict by establishing your preference early. "You can say to the group, 'I'm going to grab my own check' so they know you're not going to be part of the final split."

Ultimately, be communicative. If you walk away confused or irritated that the bill was not split to your liking, Gottsman says it's your responsibility to respectfully and kindly correct the situation the next time around.

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Should You Really Split That Dinner Bill? 5 Etiquette Tips (2024)

FAQs

Should tip be split proportionally? ›

Split the tip evenly.

It's proper etiquette to split tax and tip evenly among the table. While some people do mind splitting the entire bill, most don't have a problem with splitting the tip evenly, since it is only a small percentage of the total bill and makes settling the bill go quicker.

Do you split tax and tip evenly? ›

Share Tax and Gratuity

"However you tallied the check, it is proper etiquette to split tax and tip evenly among the table," Putney says.

What is the proper etiquette for eating at the dinner table? ›

During the Meal

Chew with your mouth closed and do not talk with food in your mouth. Pass food items to the right (i.e. bread, salad dressings). If you are the individual starting the passing of the bread basket, first offer some to the person on your left, then take some for yourself, then pass to the right.

Is it okay to split the bill? ›

From an etiquette perspective, Swann said it is fine to ask people not to split the bill evenly, unless you're in a higher-end dining experience, such as a private dining room or at a chef's table. For a more exclusive experience, it is proper to split the bill evenly, she said.

Are you supposed to split tips? ›

Under federal law, employers can require employees to participate in a tip pool or otherwise share their tips with other employees. In a tip pool, employees have to chip in a portion of their tips, which are then divided among a group of employees.

What is the fairest way to split tips? ›

How to split tips by hours worked. To split servers' tips by hours worked, add up the total amount of tips and then divide that figure by the total hours worked. Then multiply that figure by the hours an individual server worked.

Who pays for dinner with friends? ›

If You're Eating With A Friend

Nowadays, it is seen as both commonplace and polite to split the bill evenly unless someone particularly wants to treat the other person.

When should you start splitting the bill? ›

“While each relationship is different, I think the earlier you begin talking about money, the better. Having these conversations about how you, as a couple, would like to approach finances early on allows the relationship to start out on equal, transparent footing.

How do you split a tip on a bill? ›

Calculating Shared Bill Tips

Divide the Tip Equally: Divide the total tip by the number of people sharing the bill. This gives you the tip amount per person. Calculate Total Per Person: Add the individual tip amount to each person's share of the bill to get the total amount each person needs to pay.

What is the number one breach of etiquette at the dinner table? ›

The number one breach of etiquette at the dinner table is slurping soup. Don't slurp your soup from the spoon or the bowl.

What are the golden rules of dining etiquette? ›

Sit up straight; do not slough or lean over the table. Your feet should rest flat on the floor; not crossed or wrapped around the chair legs. Do not rock back in the chair. Elbows on the table are only acceptable between courses when there is no plate in front of you.

What is considered rude at the dinner table? ›

Talking with food in one's mouth is seen as very rude. Licking one's fingers and eating slowly can also be considered impolite. Food should always be tasted before salt and pepper are added.

What is the fairest way to split bills? ›

Splitting bills based on your income is more fair than splitting them down the middle. To do this, you both can set up a direct deposit from your individual accounts to the shared joint account for your agreed share of the expenses.

How do I know if I should pay for the meal etiquette? ›

A – Dear Sally. You're right, the correct dining etiquette is that the person who issues the invitation, as host pays for the meal (or check as it's known by Americans). Unfortunately, not everyone seems to know this simple table manners rule.

Should bills be split equally? ›

There are a few ways to do it, and there's no one “right” answer. You could just split everything 50-50 and call it a day. But if your incomes aren't anywhere close to equal, one person may be putting entire paychecks toward shared bills, while the other has a lot of extra money to spend.

What are the rules for tip allocation? ›

If the total tips reported by all employees at your large food or beverage establishment are less than 8 percent of your gross receipts (or a lower rate approved by the IRS), you must allocate the difference between the actual tip income reported and 8 percent of gross receipts among the employees who received tips.

Do bartenders split tips? ›

Restaurant Tip Sharing Calculator

Typically, the bartender will receive 10% and another 25–30% will be split amongst the remaining staff.

Do chefs split tips? ›

According to Nolo.com, it is illegal for restaurants to make waiters split their tips with line cooks or any kitchen (back of the house) staff. Line cooks do not get tips unless tipped employees voluntarily share their tips.

Why is tip proportional? ›

Since inequitable relationships are distressing, restaurant customers should attempt to maintain equity by tipping in proportion to services received [10, p. 171]. Social exchange theory suggests that the reason for tipping is so one may absolve oneself from any obligation to the server since he or she is serving you.

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